*i cant belive, that i'm the fool again. *

Monday, April 09, 2007

this shall be the last entry i have here.

finally,i realise what's BEST FRIENDS! best friends are no longer best friends when it comes to protecting his/her own interest. everything turns to dust.
you said you dont wanna end our friendship in this way, you ask me not to compare the lies you made,and think of the reasons of why you lied. I DID. and what did i get in the end?

actions speaks louder than words. your actions dont even tally a single bit with your words.mend the broken part? or worsen the wound? which are you trying to do?

i understand that you tried to lie because you had your own stand. i accept that you have your own stand, BUT i have mine too. i know you too well, you always take my words lightly, until things really happen, then will you start to believe me.

2 BEST FRIENDS = LIES.
you said she was wrong, said you wouldn't treat me the way she treated me.
but then? you did the same damn thing as her. but at least she showed me that she felt sorry, she tried to minimise the pain she gave me. BUT you? ok, maybe you think you did, but i really cannot see or feel it. yet i feel the pain getting deeper & deeper.

YES i said that the broken friendship can be mended, and i mean it. but that includes that you try too. NOT me alone trying. furthermore YOU are the one responsible for the 'trying to mend the broken part' task. so what if i try to mend? very FUTILE i can say. moreover, i dont see the reason why i should try more than you when you were the one who broke it.

sometimes, the things i know, can not be what you can imagine. sometimes, i chose to act as if i dont know anything. b'cos i dont wanna make things ugly. but in fact, i knew it. AND you chose to keep me in the dark. there are still things that i know i can say. well, that guy you 'love' hates me like hell now, and he says he wants to take everything away from me. YES, you can tell him, he WON, he did it. and YOU played a part in it too. the friends you are hanging around with now used to be my friends. AND you know what that means? i hope you do. AND you understand this bloody kind of feeling? what have i done to deserve such treatment from you and her? whenever you think of yourself not in the wrong, you can try switching roles with me. what if you were me, i were you. and i bloody do this to you? all that the both of you ( my 2 ex-best friends) have done, still lacking the part of you and my ex-best friend becoming best friends. i think you can try doing so. that would be interesting, and i can be the laughing stock. yeah.

have i not done enough as your best friend? i am very sure i did more than what i should.
i hope you dont regret the path you chose today. Because the path you chose today cannot be returned. you can also tell him, he wants to hate me? i can do it better than him.

i hope that the lil things/secrets we have between us BEFORE will be kept. THANK YOU.

FROM NOW ON, i dont need any best friends. AND i dont believe in BEST FRIENDS ANYMORE.

YOU lead your life, i lead mine. i will not hate you. we're still friends. but no longer the same. and if you still want me to attend your birthday, i will too.

to MIN: thanks for letting me know that you still care, thanks for letting me know that you are on my side, thanks for believing in me.

to RIS/ANGELA: thanks for letting me know that the both of you still care :)

from now on, i lead my new life ................

the beauty exposed ;